my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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