The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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