like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
