ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
