Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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