At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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