So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
