The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 607 share tweet
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
