I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
