Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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