Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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