yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
