i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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