weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
