we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
The ass gains better be worth it
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