: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
only you would photoshop your dick
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
