she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
