Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
