Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
