i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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