Me. At least after what I've been through.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
That's how pantless uber rides happen
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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