i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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