Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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