Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
