Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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