He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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