Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
