Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
