I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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