how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
