Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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