yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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