You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
