he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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