no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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