when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
