i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
