Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
