this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
