shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
