He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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