their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
