and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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