if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
