obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
