i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
