Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Randomize
