Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
