I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
