hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
