I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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