First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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